Where do you go when you close your eyes?

Like many people I tend to be a world traveler in imagination only. If I had one wish it would be to be able to take my little family all over the world and immerse ourselves in other cultures and see new people and places. Here are the top ten places that I most want to visit:

1. Kenya & Tanzania - I know this is technically 2 different countries and shouldn't count as just one destination but I would love to go on a safari across these two neighboring countries.

2. Istanbul - To be fair, I would love to travel the entire "spice route" from Morocco to Turkey but since I already cheated with my #1 destination I decided to just go with with Beautifully exotic city of Istanbul.
3. Hallstatt, Austria - Again, what I truly would love is a trip along the entire length of the Danube but that's "cheating" so the place that I would most like to visit{slash live this rest of my days} is easily Hallstatt. This has to be the village that little children dream about after reading classic fairy tales before bed.
4. Italy's Cinque Terre - Along the Amalfi coast is this small picturesque knot of villages. All you need do is a quick Google image search and you can see why I have the Cinque Terre on this list.
5. Machu Picchu - This one is for sure on the list. I would love to spend days exploring the ancient city at the top of the Andes.
6. Sange Tsuyama-city, Okayama Japan - I want to be here in the springtime for the Cherry Blossom Festival...how could you not?
7. Bali - Being a small Island I dont have this one narrowed down to just one town. I would love to spend months here soaking up the culture and beautiful jungle {and no i haven't read Eat Pray Love nor is this choice because of the book/movie}.
8. Goa India - The Indian coast, spices, foods, smells, languages, gods, colors...all of it, as Liz Lemon might say "I want to go to there".

9. Barcelona - I want to gorge on tapas, see amazing works by legendary artists, learn to dance the flamenco, drink sultry wines, have my breath taken away by Gothic and Moorish architecture and so much more in this city.

10. Santorini Greece - Always my choices are made in part because of food - this of course falls under that category. I want to sit on the deck of a whitewashed villa in a gauzy dress and gaze out over the turquoise waters of the Mediterranean forever.

Where would you go?

9 month check-up.

Today was Amelia's 9 month doctors appointment and it went well. She weighs 17.2 pounds {22nd percentile} and is 29 inches long {92nd percentile}, still super long and skinny {where can I get some of that?}. She got her hepatitis B booster and a flu shot {we don't generally believe in getting flu shots but our doctor convinced us to give Amelia one this year and next year but from then on we wont need to give her one if we don't want to} she did really well and only cried for a couple of seconds {I think more out of stranger fear with the nurse vs actual pain from the needle}. She's exactly on target for her age developmentally {gross and fine motor skills and communication skills are all perfect} and perfectly healthy. Her next appointment is in January for her 12 month check up.

Photoshoot failure.

Tonight we had Amelia's 8/9 month photo shoot with Mike Long at Katchlight Photography. I have been super psyched about this shoot as it's right before the holiday season and I have several cute outfits picked out for the shoot that will/would look fantastic on holiday cards {her Halloween costume, Christmas dress, Christmas pajamas, overalls and fall-ish shirt}.
That's how it was *supposed* to go. What I failed to take into account was that I scheduled said photo shoot at 6:00pm {please refer to the term "witching hour" in previous posts} and of course today would be the day that a new tooth has started to move on down to join its enameled brethren! In a nutshell - meltdown. We got a few photos in her wee overalls and maaaaybe 1 {2 tops} in the Christmas dress before she effectively said "go to hell! you go to hell and you die!" {in baby speak of course}.
Lame. So, we have rescheduled for November 15th{ish} in the afternoon {much better time of day for her}. I'm still bringing the Halloween costume even though it will have passed, because dang it, she looks adorable in it and even though it'll be too late for Halloween cards it's still good to have them in photo albums and the like.
Wish me better luck for the next time!

My name is Nichole and I'm a mother.

The trouble with being one of just 2 moms in my social circle is that I find myself making light of this major life change in order to make others more comfortable. I'm often asked for "gruesome details" or get told "I wouldn't want to be in your shoes" when things like teething or travel come up. Instead of saying what I should {"actually, teething isn't so bad. She needs extra cuddles sure, but it means that she's growing up and to me that's really exciting." or "She's a good baby so we're thinking that traveling will be okay if we plan it right."} I end up saying things like "yeah, geeze, crying and stuff that sucks". But am I really making anyone "comfortable" when I'm so clearly holding things back? Doubtful. I was asked by no less than 6 female friends not to turn into a cliche mom that says sappy things like "you don't know what love is until you have a child" or "I would do anything for my kids" and I emphatically promised not to while making retching faces at the mere thought of such a thing.
But here's the thing, those cliches are in existence for a reason. You really don't understand the kind of all consuming love that a human is capable of until you have a child, you really would do anything on Earth without a second thought for your child in a way that you wouldn't have thought possible. And doesn't that make me a "good" mom? Why do I feel the need to apologize for loving my baby? My priorities and goals are not the same as they once were, I've grown and changed {just as we all do} and I'm happy about who i am and where I am. I honestly would rather spend the evening cuddled up with my husband and looking at our baby than anything else there is.
Yes, there are hard days {just as there were pre-baby} but they are actually pretty few and totally worth it. I'm in the role that I always wanted and I'm loving it more than I thought imaginable. I don't pass judgement on my friends that choose not to have children and I have to hope that they are not doing so to me. So from now on, no more. Here is the truth: I am blissfully happy, i love my child and could talk about her for hours, i am there from the moment she wakes up until i put her to bed at night and 10 minutes after she's asleep I miss her and have to force myself not to go pick her up and snuggle with her some more then i go to the living room and look at photos or videos of her with Cheyenne and we marvel at how amazing she is. I'm a mom and it's the best thing in the world.

Big girl chair.

Well, it's happened. Amelia is officially too big for her Bumbo {she actually monkeyed her way out of it the other day}. Luckily she has an awesome Grammy who came over Saturday {my mom comes over every Saturday for a visit and my dad comes over every Sunday} with an early Christmas gift! A beautiful new highchair that PERFECTLY matches my dining room furniture and looks like it was made for the space. Amelia loves it and looks super cute in it, but of course I have misplaced the charger for my camera and cant take any photos of her in it until I can locate said charger. I've searched high and low...I know it's somewhere obvious and I'm just not thinking to check there, for now it's disappearance is driving me insane!

Separation Anxiety.

Lately I've noticed some separation anxiety showing up in Amelia, I think that I had been misdiagnosing it as "stranger fear" for a while but it's definitely become apparent that it's separation anxiety with me {we spend all of her waking hours together so it makes sense}. I cannot set her down at all without a meltdown. In fact, as I'm writing this I'm sitting in the "thunderdome" with her. She doesn't need to be in my arms but if she's set down and I walk away the waterworks start immediately. If I'm down on the floor or in the thunderdome with her then she's fine, she'll crawl around and entertain herself and only come over to check in once in a while for a little cuddle. It sounds cute, but by last Friday after a week of this i was at the end of my rope. Ive read up on it and it just seems to be par for the course and the correct developmental stage for her age and with some work on my part will go away. So, I am determined to keep that in mind this week and not get impatient with her...after all, she just wants to be near me because she loves and trusts me.

Music Together Fall semester.

Our music classes have started back up {summer semester was over back in August} and we were lucky enough to get into the Saturday early afternoon class so Cheyenne gets to go with us now {we had Wednesday late afternoons over the summer}. It's so much more fun, not only because Cheyenne is there as well but also because of how much growing up Amelia has done since last semester. She can now sit up on her own and clap with the music and "sing" {she yells along and squeals}. It's pretty great. I'll try and take a couple of photos this Saturday and share them with you.

Prickly heat.

Just as we feared, Amelia seems to have gotten her dads sensitive skin. Normally this isn't an issue, since Cheyenne cant handle dyes or perfumes we've always used All Free & Clear detergent {which is considerably more gentle then Dreft} and all of my household cleaners are from Seventh Generation {also because I don't like the idea of gross chemicals in the environment let alone my house}.
We noticed that Amelia got a heat rash when we visited family in Missouri at the beginning of the summer {we don't generally experience that kind of heat or humidity in the Pacific Northwest} but didn't think too much about it once we got home to our more mild climate.
However, now that the weather is getting cooler at night we've begun putting her in warmer jammies and turning the heater on {I like the house at 70 degrees year round}. We noticed a bit of heat rash yesterday {around her neck and behind her ears where she sweats} then today after a nap on my chest in her footie pajamas she's got it on her chest/tummy and back where she was warmest. Poor thing. It looks uncomfortable but she doesn't seem to notice in the least. For now she's naked to cool off and I'll be giving her a tepid bath with baking soda to help any itching that she might have {though that doesn't seem to be the case right now}.

And with that she was a grown up...

Big news in the Clark house: Amelia has 1. said her first word and 2. is doing a "real" crawl! For a while now she has been saying bah-bah-bah-bah, puh-puh-puh-puh, & ma-ma-ma-ma indiscriminately so we knew that she was pretty close to a breakthrough. Just to give her that little extra push I have upped how much i read to her {instead of the half hour before bed i now read for a half hour in the morning, 15 minutes in the afternoon, 15 minutes in the early evening, and then the half hour before bed} and have been doing a lot of extra facetime+talking slowly. Last night near her witching hour {don't we parents know that time of night all to intimately} she was fussing and squirming in Cheyenne's arms then she turns to me throws out her arms in my direction and yells out a VERY definitive "MAMA!". Chey and I froze in shock. "Did she just say....?" "um, yeah I think so, I think she wants her Mama". So he handed her over and she climbed up me like a monkey, burrowed her head in my neck and said "Hrmpf, Mama." then smiled and cooed.
Well we were pretty sure that she said Mama and meant Mama {as opposed to making the sound because it's fun to do} but didn't want to sound the alarm prematurely. We kept trying to get her to do it again with no luck.
Then I went downstairs to make dinner, leaving Little Miss with her Daddy. Once again the fussing ensued. When I came upstairs during a lull in cooking she saw me and yelled out "MAMA!" then tried to throw herself off of her perch on Cheyenne's shoulders {she's usually calmed by being at this lofty height}. When I picked her up she once again cuddled up and said "Mama." she said it two more times while cuddling and then did it again today.
So there you have it, all babies say "Dada" first because it's easier...mine chooses the more challenging path. If that doesn't say Future Harvard Grad then I don't know what does.
As for the crawling, she's been doing an excellent job of mastering the army crawl the last couple of months. Lately however, when I set her on the floor to play i put her in the "normal crawling" all fours position and she sits there rocking and trying to figure it out. Tonight, after dinner, we were all 3 on the floor playing around {as crawling practice and because it calms her down during the aforementioned "witching hour"} and she got up onto all fours and crawled from one side of the room to the other like she'd been doing it all of her life. Her parents sat and watched with their mouths dropped to the floor and tears in their eyes.

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

school pictures gone bad. Very bad.

1st Grade.
3rd grade.

We live across the street from an elementary school {that I attended for 1st-3rd grades} and from time to time papers from backpacks fall into my front yard. The other day as I was getting into the car I noticed a brightly colored paper and went to throw it into the recycling bin when I noticed what it was...a school photo order form.
It made me smile at the thought of all of the awkward school portraits that I have seen and {unfortunately} been in. For a good laugh visit this site. It'll make you giggle and {i hope} feel a bit better about your own awkward photos.

It gets better.

Watching the news lately has been heartbreaking. As a mother to a child that I love with all of my being and a friend to several gay/bi/trans people that I couldn't love as more if they were blood relation the recent suicides of bullied children and alienated closeted young people are shocking and horrific.
It sickens and saddens me that these are issues in the "enlightened" 2010. Living in such a liberal town I sometimes forget that there are parts of the country that are significantly less so.
Dan Savage {a long time favorite columnist of mine} has started the "it gets better project" on youtube to help give encouragement to young people struggling through these issues. Please, if you fall into this category, check out these videos or talk to someone. Whatever you need, but please know this - things DO get better.

Save the ta-ta's!

October is breast cancer awareness month. While I have been very lucky and not lost a loved one to this disease, I do have friends who have survived breast and/or ovarian cancer {often lumped together in awareness forums}. For years now I have actively taken part in the fight against breast cancer. Every September I do the Susan G. Komen 5K Race for the Cure {this year Amelia joined me!}, I donate whenever I have a bit of extra scratch, if there are products that donate to the cause and I could use said product then I own it {including my beautiful KitchenAid mixer}.
In addition to my ongoing support I thought that I would do a post on the subject and perhaps get at least one reader involved or even better to do a self examination or book an appointment for a physical with your doc.
For more information on how you can make a difference please visit this site!

A trip to the Sauvie Island pumpkin patch