Thursday, September 27, 2012

.The haps.

I feel like each post I've made for the last three months has started with "hey guys, sorry I've been a bad blogger and went MIA"...but seriously, sorry guys I've been a bad blogger that's totally gone MIA on you.
It's just that I'm so tired. I mean like really really effing tired. Of course everyone with a newborn is but I don't think I gave the sleep thing enough credit before Alice came. I had mistakenly viewed it through the experience of Amelia's first few months. Only the thing is, that's NOT the same. When you have just the one kid you can follow the old adage and sleep when the baby sleeps. Sure, when Amelia was a newborn I was up all night but during the day I got a bunch of cat naps that helped immeasurably and I was able to function and do things like bathe, do the dishes, take photos of my pretty baby and of course blog. But this time around I have a toddler underfoot and the half dozen catnaps a day are no longer an option. Not only that but Amelia's naptime ALWAYS coincides with Alice's fussy time. Oy.
As of 7:00am yesterday I hadn't slept in 48 hours. AWESOME! I know that it's "just a phase" and will get easier very soon so I haven't lost my mind or anything but until I can get a bit more sleep in my life I just simply don't have the mental capacity to string together a coherent thought let alone a decent blog post. I'm sorry folks but I think you're going to be stuck with these sporadic notes from the trenches for the next month or so but I promise that as soon as I am functional I'll be back to my old blogging self with tons of photos and stories.
Until then keep me in your thoughts!

 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

.Newest photo session.

We had a photo session with Mike Long at Katchlight Studios a few weeks back and just got a few of the proofs in and I thought I would share them. Since they are proofs they have the watermark on them but of course the ones hanging in our home wont.







Sunday, September 16, 2012


Happy 1 month "birthday" Alice!

Height: 19.75 inches {11th percentile}
Weight: 6 pounds 6 ounces {2nd percentile}
Eye color: blue
Hair color: dark brown

Notes: Miss Alice is such a sweet baby. She is mellow, calm, and only cries if she's hungry. She eats constantly during the day but is starting to sleep longer periods at night {every 3 hours, down from 90 minutes}. At one month old she is now the exact size that her sister was at birth, perhaps she'll be short like mommy?



Friday, September 14, 2012

.Oh happy day...or night.

After a week of waking up to eat and spit-up every 90 minutes from 11:00pm-7:00am I am beyond thrilled to say that last night Alice slept from 12:00am-3:00am and after a quick & vomitless feeding went back to sleep until 6:30am! You have no idea how delicious it was to get in some actual sleep. The previous night was a rough one and I woke Cheyenne up crying "every single creature in this house is sleeping and snoring and getting rest but ME" in a total pitty party freakout. It would seem that Alice took my pain to heart and gave me a little break. I'm not sure if it was a fluke and she was just tired or if {please please please} she's finally getting her days and nights sorted out, but I'll take it either way.




 

Monday, September 10, 2012

.Notes from the trenches: the flux.

Teeny Tiny is now the ripe old age of 3.5 weeks and she's fabulous....however, as I mentioned in a previous post - she's ALWAYS eating. We blame it on her need to "catch up", so to speak, in the weight department {at 6 pounds 1 ounce she is in the 2nd percentile for weight for baby girls her age}. That theory was all well and good because it made me think that there would be an end to the hourly feedings once she was at a more "normal" weight.
That was, until Friday.....

Let me start this post by saying "I told you so" to myself. Because seriously when it comes to formula, "I told you so".
You see with all of this pumping and breastfeeding that I pretty much do every single moment of my life {it seems} by last Friday I could see it coming...I was going to hit a wall. I so desperately need{ed} a break, just a moment of having my body to myself where I could soak in a tub and wash away the ever present smell of fenugreek and give my aching hand a rest from the pump and my chest and mind a break from being a food source. I just needed a small moment where my body was mine and had no demands on it other than resting.
So when Cheyenne got home from work I called an emergency "safety zone" {side note: the night that we moved in together 7 years ago we created a "safety zone", a weekly meeting in bed with the lights off where we can vent or talk about anything that bothered us during the week. the "rules" of the safety zone are that we can't be purposely mean, we cant get defensive, and we have to respect what is said whether we agree or not. We do this every single Sunday night no matter what. I swear it's a marriage saver} and I explained how I was feeling and that I was {am} legitimately scared that if I didn't get a break then I would give up on breast feeding altogether {not something either of us wants since "breast is best"}. I cried tears of frustration and said that the only way I could see to get a break and still keep my pumped milk for nighttime feedings {I pump 8 ounces through the day which makes for EXACTLY  down to the last drop what I need for night feedings when I'm too damned tired to breastfeed....plus it means Chey can take over half of the overnight feedings}would be to pick up a can of formula and make one small bottle with it a night so that I could have an hour alone all to myself to recharge, my thinking being that when the can was done Alice would be over this temporary feeding frenzy and onto a more reasonable 3 hour schedule.
Cheyenne reassured me that I wasn't the monster that I thought I was for wanting to give the baby a little supplemental bottle for the sake of keeping my sanity and he went to the store and picked up a can of formula so that starting that night I could have my moment {or 60 of them} of peace.
Sounds good right? Well, I had my doubts. We gave Amelia formula a few times as a baby {when i was on allergy meds for example and in the early weeks when she was having latch issues} and it was ALWAYS a problem for her to digest. Her formula poops were "off" and she would get terrible gas pains and it was just always a nightmare and had confirmed for me that breastmilk really truly is the only thing a baby should drink. So I was apprehensive but told myself that Amelia just had a sensitive gut and Alice would be different. Sometimes I am an idiot.
That night Alice got a 3 ounce bottle of formula that she consumed between 9:00pm-10:30pm. Starting at 11:00pm she threw up every single time she ate, even after we moved back to breast milk. She threw up half to all of her meals at 11:00pm, 1:00am, 1:30am, 2:15am, 3:00am, 3:45am, 4:30am, 5:00am, 6:00am, 6:45am, 7:30am, etc until we took her to the pediatrician {I was panicked} at 10:00am. The poor thing was so so hungry but couldn't keep anything down. Our pediatrician examined her closely and said that she looked very healthy and her weight and electrolytes were good and that given her age it was/is most likely acid reflux and that it was triggered by the formula proteins but not a huge concern as long as she continues to eat.
When the doctor said "some babies just get reflux, all it means for you is that she'll need to be elevated or sitting up for about 15 minutes after eating and you may need to nurse more often to make up for what gets thrown up." well, I tell you, I had to sit on my hands to keep from slapping the doctor in the mouth for suggesting that I feed the child MORE often {good lord how is that even possible}.
We went home and the spitting up slowed way down throughout the day and everything seemed back on track.  That night we gave her a 2 ounce bottle while I took a break {the doc had said it should be fine so long as we keep Alice sitting up after her feeding} but we once again has a repeat of the night before, only this time along with every spit up I choked back tears as I mentally beat myself up for having fed her something that she shouldn't have had just because I needed a bath. It was an ugly night.
I threw the can of formula out the next morning and Alice is now back to 100% breastmilk. She's already so much better, last night she had minimal spitting up and only got up to eat every 3 hours.
So for now I'm stuck in the trenches, tender {physically and emotionally} and exhausted but it'll be "better" soon....right?


 

Sunday, September 9, 2012

.The end of summer.




























Yesterday was beautiful, warm and sunny but you could feel that summer is coming to an end {YAY!} so we packed up the little ladies and headed to Sauvies Island to soak in the sunshine and fresh air. Amelia had a ton of fun looking at the farm animals, climbing the hay pyramid, and running through the fields of flowers....Alice slept in the Ergo the entire time {hence the lack of Alice photos in this post}.




 

.Sharing.

Amelia loves "Baby Sister" to bits and if for some reason Alice is in her bouncy seat or baby swing and is getting fussy Amelia views it as her #1 job to bring her sister all manner of gifts to try and lift her spirits. We've discussed that she's never allowed to put anything on or over Sister's face and she must always be gentle and she takes this to heart - she sits next to her sister and brings her toys and pets her head with such tenderness. I love them.









 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My mom spent most of last week here and I have to say it was really great. I hadn't realized how much I missed having her here until she came back and now is gone again. Such is life I suppose.
On the plus side she'll be back in January for Amelia's birthday. I had planned to take a million photos while she was here but to be honest we were having such a good time and she and Amelia were such a blur of energy anyway {getting in all of the playtime that they've missed out on in the last few months} that so many of the shots just would have been motion anyway. Here's what I was able to capture: