.Crazy love.

I think that most of the people that read this blog are moms {though there are exceptions} and that I personally know a good majority {though there are exceptions} and so I feel like it's safe to say that "we all know what it's like to have an overwhelming love of our child/ren".
But sometimes, like say when you have crazy pregnancy hormones going on, you are leveled by how much love you have for your little one{s}.
Case in point: yesterday Cheyenne & Amelia both had a mild but very annoying {for them} stomach bug that ended up leaving Amelia with a terrible diaper rash. She woke up from her nap screaming bloody murder and to say that I was crushed with guilt and sadness is just the tip of the iceberg. I ended up stripping her naked, giving her as much of a cooling hose down in the shower as she could handle, then cradled her on my lap like a tiny baby until she fell back asleep. For over an hour I sat crippled in the rocking chair in her room {holding a toddler that is over half of your height like she's a baby is hell on the back} watching her in my arms as she slept.
For the rest of the day she was on me like glue and I have to admit that I was more than okay with it, in part because holding her just made me feel like maybe I wasn't the worst mom on Earth.
Later that night when Cheyenne & I went to bed I was laying there totally preoccupied with love for my little girl and I missed her - as though we had been away from each other for days instead of just 2-3 hours. I was so fussy and forlorn with my missing her that in order to get any sleep Cheyenne insisted that I get out of bed and sneak into her room to give her a little kiss in the hopes that it would calm my nerves. After going back and forth with myself about it {and driving Chey insane} I finally went into her room, after I got back to my own bed the following conversation took place:

Cheyenne: "Feel better?"
Me: "Yes, a bit. She had kicked her covers off so ya know, thank god I was there to cover her back up. Mother's intuition!"
Cheyenne: "You know, she's always overly warm, I bet she kicked them off to get comfortable."
Me: "MOTHERS INTUITION!"
Cheyenne: "Yeah, you're right. It's a good thing you went in there. Can we go to sleep now?"
Me: "I miss her. We should wake her up and play."
Cheyenne: "That's insane. Don't wake up that child."
Me: "Okay you're right. But we should go get her and bring her in here to sleep."
Cheyenne: "No."
Me: "Yeah, that could wake her up too. Maybe I should go sleep on the floor by her bed."
Cheyenne: "You can't even get comfortable in our bed and with your 5 pillows, how are you going to sleep on the hardwood floor?"
Me: "Ugh, that's a good point. I guess I'll just lay here and fuss."
Cheyenne: "Okay, but I'm tuning you out and going to sleep now."

I fell asleep about an hour later. The moment she woke up this morning I was in her room ready to start our day together. I just love her that much. I want her around all of the time {unless she's having a tantrum, then I want some xanex and a babysitter}.