The "terrible twos" are real. And they suck. This is something that Cheyenne & I have been coming to terms with as of late. It would seem that my friend Wendy & her husband Edgar are going through the same stuff with their daughter Lily {we know Wendy & Edgar from our prenatal classes and our daughters were born on the exact same day}.
Wendy also writes a blog {love it} and her most recent post has to do with this exact subject. Luckily Wendy has found a few really great articles on dealing with a-hole toddlers {how's that for a very blunt description of this age}. I found myself reading her post and saying out loud "oh my God, I am so there Wendy!" I think everyone with a two year has those days, even more so when you're a stay at home parent, where you just think "I give up, lets take her out to the woods and return her to the evil gnomes that stole my sweet loving baby and replaced it with this monster".
This is not to say that Amelia is a round the clock monster or that every day is a struggle. Quite the contrary, she's a great kid and I know that I am really lucky to have such a lovey little girl. But, I've always tried to be as honest as possible on here and the truth is there are moments & sometimes whole days {or a week if she's sick} where she's just..."difficult" to say the least.
Cheyenne & I talked at length before we had children about our views on discipline for children and we both agreed then and now that spanking, yelling, or any other form of demoralizing is not for our family. We choose instead to use a "time out" method until the tantrum/behavior passes, when it does we go in and have a talk with her about why she was there. Since she's only two these time outs rarely last long, as soon as she's calm we're in there - no set time. Also, since she's two a lengthy talk wouldn't hold her attention or get our point across so it's usually something as simple as "Amelia, we don't hit. It hurts and it makes us sad." then we give a hug and move on. As she gets older there will be more structure to the method but we've found this works well for our needs and her stage of development right now.
But there are times, oh there are times, dear readers - when I have to go to a special place and use every single ounce of self control that I can muster. A horrific natural reaction of mine when someone is literally screaming at the very top of their lungs 2 inches from my face is to slap - I've never ever acted on it of course - but it's there, and I would imagine that it's not that uncommon. I find myself repeating this mantra {out loud with eyes closed} ""I will be kind. I will be in control of my emotions. This will pass" I'm sure that I look totally insane to an outsider but it really does help me. Last night I had to employ "the mantra" when an epic tantrum hit {brought on by a certain someone refusing to actually go to sleep at naptime and becoming overtired by dinner}. Cheyenne was making dinner at the time and must have heard the commotion, he walked by the nursery {the scene of the crime} and seeing/hearing me he just said "you're a good mom, you're a really good mom". That helps. A partner who gets it and who knows that I don't need saving but I do need encouragement and reassurance, that's priceless and I hope all of you have someone like that.
And that's it, that's what my survival arsenal consists of for this phase: time outs, a repeated mantra, and a supportive partner. It may not sound like much, and there are times when it doesn't feel like enough - but it's what there is and it gets me through.
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