Joyeux Anniversaire!

Today is my 2nd wedding anniversary! I can't believe it has been two years, on one hand it seems like we've been married for much longer because of everything that has happened in those two years {job change, new house, pregnancy, baby} but on the other hand it seems to have gone by so so quickly {i swear it was just yesterday that I was walking up the aisle crying as I saw my soon to be husband}.
We had a lovely weekend, on Saturday we had a date at Jake's Grill while my dad babysat then we came home and shared the Perrier-Jouët Champagne that my friend Alaya gave us for a wedding gift {we had planned to have it on our first wedding anniversary but I found out I was pregnant just one week beforehand, then we planned to have it the day our baby was born but since I ended up with a c-section it got put on the shelf until now}. Yesterday {Sunday} we took Josie and Amelia to Sauvie Island to play on the beach then we came home and had a sweet little picnic. Today {Monday - our actual anniversary} I got a surprise: Cheyenne had a beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers {peonies, anemones, light pink daisies} delivered!
I am so happy to be married to my best friend, he's a wonderful husband & an amazing father, I have been blissfully content for the last 5 years {from when we started dating} and am looking forward to a happy future.

First outing to a beach.

I heart PDX

New Photos

Amelia is 21 weeks old {aka 5 months & 1 week} to "celebrate" here are some photos...look how long she is!

Congratulations Herzog family!

congratulations go out to David {ex-roomie} and Jessica {friend} Herzog on the arrival of their beautiful daughter Eulen Jo Ambrose Herzog. Their little owl {Eulen is old German for "owl"} was born at 8:30pm on June 18th weighing 8lbs. 3oz.
Im loving all of the sweet baby girls born this year and the renaissance of old-fashioned names!

Photo shoot proofs...48 hours only!

Tonight we got to go over to Katchlight Studios to look at the gorgeous proofs from Amelia's latest photo session with the amazingly talented Mike Long and we are so so pleased {as always} with his work.
Mike has been restructuring how he does viewings of the sessions and in the process has done away with online galleries...however, since I'm such a darn good client {and because I groveled a bit} he has been kind enough to put one up for me. The catch? It will only be up for 48 hours. So please click here and put in "nichole" as the password and have a look. If there is a photo that you would like to own email me and I can fill you in on pricing and how to order.

Baby Mohawk!

Please enjoy

Fathers Day 2010

First Fathers Day with Dad & Grandpa!

Fathers day has been a bit gloomy in our home the last couple of years since Cheyenne's father died and although we always have my dad over for dinner I have been trying to play down the whole thing because I knew it was hard on Chey.
However, this year is his first as a dad himself and I decided it was high time to enjoy fathers day once again.
Cheyenne got a photobook from Shutterfly.com with pictures of he and Amelia over the last 5 months, and a digital picture frame for his office. I also made a nice breakfast and then we had my dad over for dinner.

For the first time in years I got to see my husband happy and smiling on Fathers Day...thank you Amelia for making that possible.

Martyr Dearest.

What I am about to say is something that I neither admit easily or am proud of: I believe that I secretly make things harder than they need be so as to seem more {OK, at all} saintly.
Let me elaborate. I have a tendency to take on the whole world, and then some, and place it squarely upon my shoulders. One would think that being married to a kind and sensitive man such as my own, who asks to help out with said burden on a daily basis, would help with the crushing i sometimes feel from all of that pressure. You would be wrong. Instead, without being totally conscious of it, I tend to shrug off the offers of help with a "no, I have this taken care of" and in my head it appears as very saintly behavior to be taken as "oh look at that, my wife is AMAZING and can handle everything without any help whatsoever, she's so clearly super mom. The best mother ever!". This gets me nowhere that I want to actually be.
Because the truth is, I am no Super Mom...she doesn't exist, and even if she did - she wouldn't be me {i was in a bathrobe with my hair in a rats nest until 4:oopm yesterday}. I could use the help that's being offered! Why don't I just accept it? I don't know exactly. I suppose it's because, like most people born between 1960 and today, I have been raised in front of a television with make-believe moms who can do everything without any help at all {see also: June Cleaver, Marion Cunningham, Claire Huxtable, Carol Brady, Elyse Keaton}.
I realized last night at about 3:30am that I am doing myself a terrible disservice. Since we got back into town a week and a half ago we have been having trouble getting Amelia back to her normal schedule {throw in teething, and getting older and you have a recipe for disaster}, basically she has spent the last 9 days in a crying rage spiral and instead of sleeping from 8:30pm-7:00am she has reverted back to waking every 3 hours at night...something that I quickly got un-used to. All week I let the frustration of dealing with my screech monkey during the day without help {when Cheyenne is at the office}, cleaning the house, making dinner, putting baby to bed {i tell a better story so i usually put her to bed since I like her to have a few books read to her before she turns in}, and then the waking up at 12am, 3am, & 6am. Finally after an entire day of screaming {on Amelia's part, not mine} I finally let all of those frustrations burst and while we were eating a spaghetti dinner I started to sob thanks to a cry from the baby. The straw that broke the camel's back indeed. Cheyenne asked me to please share what was bothering me so much and i unleashed everything {i don't get sleep yet you get 8 hours, i hear her scream all day while you get to have adult conversations with colleges, i make dinner while you play video games} and {rightly so} I was met with explanations for everything {you asked to take the entire 8 hour shift since i had to go to work, you don't let me in the kitchen, you begged to be a stay at home mom} and the obvious bold truth - my husband offers help at every turn, and I always turn him down...of course those offers are going to slow. Seeing my tears, my husband did everything to calm me down then {once I was stable - fragile, but stable} he took the reins and cleaned up dinner, put the baby to bed, and poured me a glass of wine. Then when she woke up at 3:30am {of course the night that I ask for help is the night she only wakes up ONCE} without so much as a sigh from me, Cheyenne was up and on his way to take care of her. It was at that point that for the first time in over a week that i exhaled...and i realized how nice it felt. I'm lucky to have a husband who wants to help and is such a great man and father, I just need to let go of my dreams of sainthood and accept the help that he so readily offers..being able to take a moment for myself and just simply release that breath that I'm always holding feels too good to pass up.

Loving it...Part II

In a weekly effort to share some of my favorite websites here is the 2nd installment/site/idea:
Sh*t My Dad Says { http://shitmydadsays.com} is totally hilarious and even a bit heart-warming in it's own weird way. Here is the "premise" of this blog:
"After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him "
Justin's dad reminds me a little of my Grandad Shalz and thus I just love him. In fun news, this site has become so popular that a Sh*t My Dad Says book has been made and a show {staring William Shatner!} is coming this Autumn.
Enjoy!

Photos from the Sidwell wedding

20 weeks = 5 months old already

Amelia is 20 weeks old today, which is to say, that she is 5 months old...I just cant believe that!

According to "What to Expect the First Year" these are things that we should have expected Amelia to be able to do by today:

1. Hold head steady when upright. CHECK

2. On stomach, raise chest, supported by arms. CHECK

3. Pay attention to an object as small as a raisin. CHECK

4. Squeal in delight. CHECK

5. Reach for an object. CHECK

6. Smile spontaneously. CHECK

7. Smile when you smile back. CHECK

8. Grasp a rattle when held to the back of hands or tips of fingers. CHECK

9. Keep head level when pulled to sitting. CHECK

10. Roll over one way. CHECK

11. Bear some weight on legs. CHECK

12. Say "ah-goo" or other similar vowel-consonant sounds. CHECK

13 Razz {make wet razzing sound}. CHECK

14. Turn in the direction of voice. CHECK

Since she is able to do everything on the check-list I am left to assume that in 4 weeks she will be able to do everything on the next check-list:

1. Stand holding on to someone or something.

2. Object if you try to take a toy away.

3. Work to get a toy out of reach {she actually already kind of does this}.

4. Pass a cube or other object from one hand to the other.

5. Look for a dropped object.

6. Rake with fingers a tiny object & pick it up in fist.

7. Babble, combining vowels & consonants such as ga-ga-ga, ba-ba-ba, ma-ma-ma, & da-da-da.

8. Feed self cracker or other finger food.

July is going to be such a fun month with so many new things to learn and activities planned!

Make a joyful noise.

Starting July 12th Amelia & I will be going to music classes at Music Together Portland which I am very excited about. Music Together comes highly recommended by friends in my mommy & me class and music classes in general are strongly supported by the AAP and shown to be very beneficial {see info on recent studies by the McMaster Institute & the University of Nevada Las Vegas in this months issue of Parents magazine}
With this, solid foods, and sign language to look forward to July is shaping up to be a very busy month - and the start of the second half of Amelia's first year!

I left my heart in the rose city

I few weeks back I made a post celebrating all things Missouri since I was on my way back for a visit with family. Now that I am back home I feel it appropriate to send a shout out to Oregon. A list of things I dig about my adopted home:

1. An hour to the East I have Mt. Hood. An actual volcano on which we can ski, snowboard, snowshoe, hike, camp, make snowmen, and fish among other things.

2. An hour to the West and I have some of the most picturesque parts of the Pacific Ocean {which we all know is the best Ocean - the Atlantic is janky so don't even try and bring it up} where you can build sand castles, deep sea fish, clam dig, watch the waves roll in and crash into each other, get salt water taffy, build bonfires on the beaches, stare at the stars, and ponder life.

3. All of the many many amazing beers and wines of the Willamette valley.

4. Fresh wild salmon, hazelnuts, marionberries, Bing cherries, Carlton Farms meats, Tillamook cheese, Rogue Creamery, Stumptown coffee, and rainbow trout.

5. Forest park {the country's largest urban forest}, Washington park, Mt. Tabor park {which sits on a volcano but is in the heart of Portland...'cause ya, we're badass like that}, The rose test gardens, the Japanese gardens, the classical Chinese gardens, the Crystal Springs Rhododendron gardens {where I got married}, & Tom McCall waterfront park - just to name a few.

6. I love that being "green" is the rule - not the exception. It is assumed that you recycle, compost, conserve water and energy, drive a fuel efficient vehicle {if you must have one at all; it's preferred that you walk, ride a bike, or use our amazingly extensive public transportation system}. you bring your own reusable cloth bags {hopefully made of recycled fabric} to the grocery store {props if you go to farmers markets or co-ops instead of a grocery store}, you belong to the Sierra Club, and you clean your home with organic cleaners. To do less makes you a weirdo outsider.

7. I love that Portland is such a "foodie" town. If you like some kind of niche cuisine or have an adventurous taste in foods then Portland is a great place to be.

8. Thanks to our temperate rain forest and year-round mild climate we have greenness all year long. When people say "the grass is greener on the other side" it could literally mean the Pacific Northwest.

9. The "Keep Portland Weird" movement. We are accepting of all races, creeds, sexualities, and everything in between and embrace and celebrate those who dare to be different.

10. Voodoo Donut - The famous bacon maple bar is reason enough to move here and never leave again.

11. Pac-10 Football!

12. Matt Groening, Chuck Palahniuk, Gus Van Sant, Katherine Dunn, Danny Glover, Steve Prefontaine, James Beard, Beverly Cleary, Ursula Le Guinn, Chief Joseph, Phil Knight, & Linus Pauling to name a few.

13. The Columbia River gorge, Multnomah Falls, Hood River, the Rouge River valley, the Pendleton round-up, and Bend.

I could keep going {I had to delete reasons 14-20 for space and because quite frankly, you get the point}. The fact is, I may have been born in the Midwest and have roots there but i was raised here and my heart and soul fully and completely belong to Oregon; it's where I was raised, where I learned to ride a bike, where I went to prom, where I went to college, where I met my best friend, where I fell in love with my husband, where I got married, and where my child was born. There is no place like home and for me, that always has been and always will be Oregon.