.Heartache.

I had planned on writing up a post on the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown Connecticut that took place 6 days ago but...I just can't. I tried, but all of the things I was {am} feeling and want to say and points I want to get across are too huge and when I put thought to paper/computer it was out of hand long and looping back and jumping forward mid-thought and it all made sense to me but just came out rambling and I wasn't satisfied and it all just made my soul and heart so heavy that I couldn't do it.
What I know and want to say {in a nutshell} is this: we need to take care of each other. We need to remove the stigma of mental healthcare. We need to turn off our televisions & radios and put down the newspapers and magazines that promote a fear mentality that makes people believe that the only answer is to arm themselves. We'll be okay. And of course, hug and kiss your people {big and small} and tell them how much you love them. A lot.

.Month 4.

Height: 24 inches {48th percentile}
Weight: 10 pounds 14 ounces {6th percentile}
Eye Color: Blue
Notes: Alice somehow grows happier and happier each day, we have no idea where she gets it but her personality is pure sunshine and giggles. She's been teething most of the past month which is less than ideal and she still has reflux that causes her to either go through 6 outfit changes or just hang out in the buff {usually the latter}but really neither is too much of an issue.
Our whole family is in love with her, especially Amelia whose first question every morning when she wakes up is "where's my sister?".

.The stockings were hung by the chimney with care...

Horrible unspeakable things happened today {I'll do a post on the shootings this week} and in order to stop the overwhelming sadness I grabbed my girls, went downstairs and made this happen. Girly happy squeals ensued for the next 5 hours....

.The Clark Family Christmas Tree 2012

p.s. Brown paper packages tied up with string really are one of my favorite things.

.Winter so far.

Hey guys!
I'm checking in for an update since it feels like it's been ages since I posted anything. Poor Alice is teething and isn't quite the same trooper that her sister was so that's been a bit rough. It's always tough seeing a little one {especially your own} in pain but there's just something extra unfair for it to be Alice in pain because she's such a happy little thing - it feels like kicking a puppy. Poor girl.
For now she's still co-sleeping, there are nights when it certainly drives me bonkers to only be able to sleep in one position {left or right side}but since i switched from trying to use the co-sleeper and sitting up to feed her to a full on in-bed cosleeping with her side-nursing things are easier. We're both getting more sleep and she's gaining weight better and my milk supply is exactly where it should be. Eventually she needs to be moved back into the co-sleep and eventually to the nursery and her crib. I had planned on starting that around the 17th of this month but with her teething I just feel like waiting a bit. I feel like I'll just know in my gut when the right time is - that's how it was with my independent little Amelia.
Otherwise December's going quite well so far, I finished my shopping months ago so that's out of the way. We got our tree over the weekend and Amelia is bonkers over the whole having a tree in her living room thing. She runs up to it every morning and deeply inhales the smell just like she's seen me do which is pretty cute. We also took the kids to see Santa over the weekend. I had expected another year of crying from Amelia and for Alice to spit up on him but that was not the case; Amelia liked him and after watching other kids get their pictures taken for a while she ventured over and let us get one with her....right as the camera clicked Alice woke up from her nap with sore teeth and was furious. I still say it was a success though!
We have more Christmas festivities in store over the next few weeks  and i promise to take pictures and share stories.
For now here are a few photos from the weekend...

.Christmas time is here.

I'm a few days late in posting this but we've been struck with a family cold & a teething baby {more on that in a bit} and time got away from me.
Last weekend we took the kids to the Oregon Zoo's annual ZooLighs display to kick off the Christmas season. The zoo is out of this world amazing all done up and even my scrooge husband {with a December 26th birthday who could blame him} was clearly drawn in by the magic of the night. I had planned on taking the zoo train as well as walking around the place but the line for the train was an hour wait so by the time we were done with it Amelia was up way past bedtime and it showed so after a hot cocoa we made a very hasty retreat to the car.
We plan to go back next weekend and skip the train {fingers crossed on that not turning into a tantrum} so that we can get some photos of the light displays and the kiddos {or at least the oldest}. Since we have a family membership we might even go one last time after that but we'll see.
This weekend we off to get round 1 of the girls Christmas portraits done so wish me luck, Amelia is notoriously bratty when a professional camera is on. My expectations aren't fantastically high, I'm hoping for just 1 or 2 decent shots. We'll see...

.The wait for the train was long but at least there were pretty lights to look at along the way and somehow our very excited toddler had 1 hours worth of extreme patience.

.She has talked about the train non-stop since we left.

.At the same age I would have lost my damn mind if a giant penguin wanted to give me a high five, Amelia on the other hand was desperate to take him home with us and be his bff.

.A sweet video of Alice "talking" to Daddy.

. Spectacle{s}.

I got new glasses! What what. Several months back Amelia pulled a She-Hulk move and broke my glasses in half like a monster, leaving me sad and blurry-eyed.
I've been on the hunt for "the perfect pair" ever since {as well as a new optometrist since I didn't care for my last one} and think I found my dream combo of glasses/doctor!
First the doc: if you're in the greater PDX area and looking for a new optometrist I HIGHLY recommend Dr Summy To at Myoptic Optometry . Being partially blind {I have only about 10% vision in my left eye and I'm near-sighted with a stigmatism in my right} I've been to my fair share of optometrists in my life and have really only liked two of them: my first true love Dr. Tobin {my pediatric optometrist from ages 3-6} & Dr. To.
In addition to really liking Dr. To I also loved Myoptic's focus on helping local businesses and charities. For example, a portion of the clinics profits goes to a local charity of your choosing {there are 4 or 5 to choose from, since it's winter and close the holidays I went with the Oregon Food Bank but other choices included OPB/PBS, Salvation Army, & the Humane Society}. In addition they also only carry frames from small local companies instead of big box manufacturers. Hooray for keeping money local and helping out small business owners!
As for the glasses themselves I am in love! I have found the brand that I will continue to use for as along as they are around! Fetch Eyewear is a local company {yay} with great frames and 100% of their profits go right to The Pixie Project, which helps support local animal charities/shelters. I had known about The Pixie Project prior to knowing about Fetch thanks to collars and leads that we used to carry at Elephants and was super excited to find that the frames I liked helped such a great cause. FYI, I went with the "Sadie" frames in olive tortoise.
If you're interested in the frames but your docs office doesn't carry them you can order them right from their website.

.Sissy bath.

I have always found tiny children sharing a bath to be one of the sweetest/cutest things ever. Mine have only just started and it still takes both parents to make sure everything is safe and every nook and cranny gets washed but I still find it to be adorable {even if it means there are four people, an over-protective dog, & a curious cat all in a much too tiny space}.

.Month 3.

You see that smile and happy face? Girlfriend looks like this every waking moment {well this or this with a boob covering part of it}. Cheyenne and I marvel every day at what a sweet little person she is. Amelia was a very loving baby and always wanted to cuddle but was a bit more serious, Alice on the other hand is all bubbles and sunshine. I actually think it makes for a nice contrast and keep my fingers crossed that it makes for two compatible personalities.
I don't have height/weight stats or percentiles this month because she doesn't go in for her checkup until closer to the 4 month mark. I'm a bit late putting this month's post up because I kept planning to just do that on my own but would forget to weigh her {I don't have a baby scale so I was thinking the produce section at the grocery store? Post office scale?} and I'm already so late that I just figured we could skip that part this month.
Littlest Miss is still waking up every two hours to nurse at night {lord in heaven have mercy on me} which isn't the best HOWEVER {warning: this may be oversharing} she's big enough that I can at least "side nurse" now so when she's hungry I can just pull her into bed next to me and we're each able to stay mostly asleep instead of a full waking up & rocking situation. So that's something I guess.
In happier news she laughed for the first time! On 11/15/12 at 7:35pm {yes, I wrote it down} Amelia was playing in her bedroom and I was making dinner while Cheyenne & Alice were playing upstairs and after much tickling her daddy got her to make her very first giggles.
A few days later I once again missed it when she laughed at something terribly hilarious that her big sister did. It wasn't until just last night {11/20/12} that she finally laughed for Mommy. Oy.
So far it would seem that she is very very much a Mommy's girl. Amelia is and has always been a Daddy's girl, they are two peas in a pod and alike in every way. Alice on the other hand is the reverse. I feel this will somehow be used against us when they are 14 & 16. For now it's adorable.

.Bring out the gimp.

You may or may not know this about me but I am a total total klutz  If there is a drink to spill, a bowl to break, or feet to be tripped on then I am your gal. I blame it on inner ear infections as a child messing up my equilibrium but in reality it's probably just my inability to pay attention to my surroundings.
Case in point: I broke a small bone on the far side of my right foot on Sunday. We were going to go to the grocery store and I was carrying Alice {strapped safely in her carseat} down the sidewalk and totally tripped. If I had had my hands free I would have easily caught myself but since I was carrying Alice I had to do some quick maneuvering to make sure that she didn't get hurt at all.
The good news is Alice is completely fine and actually found the whole thing to be highly entertaining {"Yay Mommy's taking me for a fun ride!"} the bad news is that I now have a sweet Quasimodo-level limp while I heal.
Since I'm breastfeeding I'm doin' it sans pain meds {I took a couple the first night because it hurt so bad}. I'm not in a cast, which is good. A boot was offered but I declined as it just seemed like more work then it was worth.
So for now my foot spends it's days in a splint or wrapped in an Ace bandage with an ice pack on it. Also "fun" news is that Cheyenne got stuck with jury duty and is on a week-long trial so after sitting in a courtroom all day he's been coming home to do the shopping, cooking, and cleaning as well as giving Amelia her bath and putting her to bed all without any help from me. As we get closer to Thanksgiving  I am most grateful to have such a great husband.

.Holiday plans.

The time between my mom & Josie's birthday {September 24th} and New Years day is my very very very favorite time of year - my favorite season {Fall}, favorite holidays, food, & activities happen in those few months. Love love love!
Anywho, Thanksgiving is just 10 days away and I am very excited. I love making a big meal for everyone and having a house full of the people I love and the smells and wine and it's just great. This year we have a small group of just 5 adults, 1 toddler, 1 baby, 2 dogs & 1 cat. I'm actually digging the fact that it's a small guest list this year because it'll be good prep for Christmas which is going to be a bit different than years past.
This year for Christmas we are going to have our traditional Christmas morning here with Santa gifts and family gifts and such {my dad will be over as well} and then we're packing up and heading over to our dear friends David & Abigail's house {it's about 10 minutes down the way} where I'll be making dinner {with some help from Abigail & Meegan as they are two of the only people on Earth I would let help in the kitchen - such is my love for both ladies} for a crowd the size that's more typical for our holidays. We'll have us, David & Abigail {duh}, Tom & Meegan {always always}, my dad, & David's parents Craig & Mary.
Abigail was kind enough and reasonable enough to offer up her house when she heard how many people we were planning on hosting since she's got a better layout for crowds and a larger kitchen {with a dishwasher}. So it'll be different but I think it'll add to the excitement.
Plus since there will be plenty of people I'm sure I'll have some great photos to share with you guys!

.Buddies.

They always seem up to something. Like they're sharing secrets....

.Four more years.

Although I try to keep the ole blog here fairly politically neutral so as not to offend anyone {it's a blog about my family not politics afterall} it would be remiss if I didn't at least touch on this weeks presidential election since it's such a major thing happening right now.
I feel very passionately about politics as I feel they are directly tied to my values and beliefs, how I raise my children and for the most part with whom I generally associate {there are the exceptions of course}.
I won't get up on my soapbox about this or that candidate but I will say that when all is said and done whether an election goes "my way" {it did} or not, I am most proud and grateful that I am an American and I have a right to cast my vote for the person I feel most fit to run my country...and in those years it doesn't go my way {2000 & 2004} I have the right to voice my disappointment without any fears.

.The girls on election night parked on the couch "watching" the results come in.

.Sister love in video form.

.Some cuteness.

.A year.

This happened a year ago. To be honest, it didn't even enter my mind until a couple of days ago as I started to carve my pumpkin for this year. I had a fleeting sadness but then Alice needed to be fed and while snuggling with her as she was breast-feeding all of my sadness melted away.

.Halloween 2012.

Happy Halloween everyone! This year {Alice's first} the girls dressed up as a monkey {Amelia} and a banana {Alice}. This past week there was costume day at Music Together class, our annual prenatal class reunion {always a costumed event}, and Halloween itself so the kids have had plenty of time in their costumes....although if given the choice Amelia would happily live in hers forever.

.Our favorite place to trick-or-treat: Auntie Abigail & Uncle Dave's house!

.Cheyenne's pumpkin. Mine was to have a Jolly Roger on it but {no joke} I fell asleep halfway through carving it and never got the energy to complete it!.

.Our little monkey.

.Not realizing that we could see her trying to get at the candy.

.Our happy little banana.

.Watching "The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" is a Halloween tradition, since we were in the formal living room passing out candy {sans tv} Little Miss watched it on *her* Kindle {stolen from Daddy}.

.I thought that by giving her the Hershey Special Dark bars she would give up on the candy jones...nope! Turns out she is smart enough to know that the dark chocolate is better and it's all she's asked for ever since.