I just simply don't think that I am built for such nonsense; the hormone fluctuations make me super nauseous, my torso is so short that I can painfully feel EVERY SINGLE MOVE this child makes, I can't breathe, I have GERD that burns like the fire of a thousand suns, I'm bloated, I pee a million times a night {no matter the trimester} - you get the idea....it aint pretty folks.
And honestly it pisses me off. Because I'm like that. When things don't go the way I want I get angry instead of sad. Before I had Amelia I always envisioned myself as one of those previously mentioned Gaia-type women and my reality both times has been a much more miserable "just get this over with" situation. With Amelia it made me sad and I was depressed that my reality was so different than what I had pictured, I actually cried about it a lot {which, if you know me is not something that I do - crying pisses me off}. This time I'm not battling the sadness/let down that I had about it last time. But I do still have this hair trigger annoyance over the whole thing.
I find that the further along in your pregnancy you are the more often well-meaning folks ask how it's going and they kind expect that sweet "it's just so magical and empowering" response. My response is always something along the lines of "I'm so done. I was done shortly after conception. I hate being pregnant with every fiber of my being and I want this child to be fully developed so that it can get the hell out of me". That response always makes people uncomfortable though.
So, until August 23rd I'll be the pissed off mini-whale hanging out in the pool...if you see me don't ask how much I'm loving pregnancy.
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