Rock-a-bye Baby...Now Pass the Xanex!

Amelia is 10 weeks old and totally healthy (yay) but she still wakes up every 2 hours at night to eat or be rocked. This isn't great for her (at this age she can and should be having longer - up to 5 hours - periods of sleep) and it certainly isn't great for Cheyenne and I who, at this point, have each forgotten what it was like to 1. get sleep 2. sleep next to each other (being big supporters of co-sleeping it's what we have done since the night she was born). With the pediatrician (who, for the record does favor co-sleeping - it was one of my requirements when interviewing pediatricians) not only supporting a move to the crib but in fact encouraging it for all three of us (none of my other plans went exactly as they were supposed to so why should this be any different - oh the joys of being a parent) to get the sleep that we need.
After spending hour upon hour upon hour reading up on and studying the various "sleep training" techniques (Ferber, Sears, Mindell, Pantley, Weissbluth, & Waldburger) no joke, i know them all (because i think you should be as informed as possible when you make decisions) and i had created my own bastardized version that combines bits from all of them. Basically i came up with something much much kinder than the Ferber "cry it out" method but more firm than Pantley's "no cry sleep solution" and decided that since there would be a (small) amount of crying involved and would take more than the 48 hour weekend it would be best to implement my "program" on Wednesday when Cheyenne would be in Philadelphia on business (he gets back at midnight on Friday) so that by the time he gets home (which coincides with the weekend) the hardest nights would have been over with (in theory) so that he wouldn't have to go into work a total zombie.
It's been....hard. Of course that's putting it mildly. This child is loved to the point of distraction and always treated with kid gloves. The first night (last night) was very rough, I'll admit, i sat on the floor next to her crib quietly (didn't want to disturb her) sobbing for the allotted time (2-5 minutes). I went through her whole "bedtime ritual" (as all of the books insisted i have and strictly stick to) and laid her in bed at 8:30. After a while she started to soothe herself to sleep before the allotted time had come (2-5 minutes). You would think that this would have had me ecstatic, however, i cried even harder being convinced that I had let my baby down and she had given up on the idea of Mommy coming to rescue her - not exactly the message that i want my children to have. By midnight she was calm enough and had been asleep for long enough stretches (she's still young enough that she is being fed every 3 hours) that a very frazzled Josie and i were able to drag ourselves to bed where I lay convinced that she wasn't crying because she was dead of SIDs and i would have to throw myself off of the St Johns bridge so i actually ended up laying on the floor next to her bed so that i could hear her breathe without waking her up or letting her know that i was there.
Tonight has gone more smoothly. She was put into her crib an hour and a half ago and only had to be soothed by me once. My goals for tonight are to be able to 1. not cry (too hard) 2. convince the dog that the world is not going to end because of Amelia's unhappiness. 3. convince myself that the world is not going to end because of Amelia's unhappiness 4. not be so paranoid and maybe (just maybe) sleep in my bed 5. remember that tomorrow night will be easier than tonight (just as tonight was easier than last night) and that before i know it she'll be grown up and/or old enough to be able to peak her head over her mattress and say "mom, I'm OK, stop sleeping on the floor next to my bed listening to me breathe".