I would describe Cheyenne and I as being on the stricter side of parenting {at least this is the intention} so the few little tantrums that Amelia has been having lately are something that we both agree needs to be nipped in the bud. What do I mean by tantrums? Well, today for example, I was feeding her breakfast and she started to fuss. I said {and signed} that she needed to eat a little more {i would have settled for a bite}, when I had the spoon halfway to her mouth she screamed {the mad kind not the sad kind} and smacked my hand away {carrots flying everywhere} and threw the bowl across the room. Um. No. Just, no. I grabbed her hands and looked her directly in the eyes and calmly but firmly said "No. We do not throw things". Then, of course the lower lip stuck out and she got that look that says "you hate me!!!!!!!!!!!" and 1 nano second later there was hysterical crying.
Ugh. The problem is that she's old enough to act naughty/bratty on purpose but still so young that she cant grasp being reprimanded. I'm at a loss. I refuse to raise a brat child {every time I see a brat child all I can think is "You are awful and your parents are awful for letting you be this way}. Hmmm.
I've recently been going over this whole situation with my friend and fellow mom Wendy {her daughter Lily was born on the exact same day as Amelia} and she and her husband {Edgar} are at the same impasse. How do you go about disciplining a one year old in a way that is teaching them how to be good people and getting your point across without using anger and fear? How do you explain to a one year why you are upset or why they cant do the thing that brings them so much amusement but is very much not allowed? I'm not totally sure what the answer is. I do know that in our house it does not mean spanking and it does not mean yelling but I do want well mannered and well behaved children.
For now we're relying on ourselves to do everything to keep the situations that may cause trouble from arising {for example, today when we had the carrot incident I knew that she was getting fussy and shouldn't have pushed it. I could easily have saved the rest of the carrots for her lunch or snack} and on the occasion that we miss a step and she does something we don't approve of we'll be firm and authoritative but not hold a grudge {I'm big on "hugging it out" after the lesson has been learned}.
I'm sure there are many more posts on discipline to come as she gets older {I'm less than 12 months away from the dreaded "Terrible twos"}. What has/does work for your family {I'm always open to advice}?
2 comments:
Oh Nichole! I hope it all works out. I think you and Cheyenn are great parents and I think you're doing the right thing. So keep it up! I'm really curious to read if anyone will post any comments and see what they have to say.
I'm interested as well. We shall see. I went the the library about a month ago and picked up all three of the Super Nanny books and read them cover to cover to get an idea of what is in store and advice for how to handle a "big kid" now that babyhood seems to be in the past. I must admit that I was kind of thinking that I wouldn't like the books at all because it felt kind of like an "as seen on tv" gimick but actually they were really great. Her style really hit home and mirrored what Cheyenne & I have always talked about being what we feel comfortable with. I actually highly suggest giving them a read.
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