Recently CNN contributor LZ Granderson wrote a fantastic opinion piece on the sexualization of today's American girls and how it would seem that younger and younger girls are dressing and acting more and more inappropriately and too "adult". I have to say that I whole heartedly agree with Mr. Granderson's piece, I DO think that it's horrifying how girls as young as 8 are seen strutting around with fake tans, gaudy earrings, track pants with "Juicy" written across the backside, and mid-driff baring tops. "prostitots" is a word that gets thrown out a lot to describe these children {and despite how these girls look in awful shows like Toddlers & Tiaras or shopping in your local mall they are in fact CHILDREN}; I actually think this is a totally unfair term on a few levels which isn't really addressed in the CNN piece. I want to make this clear first and foremost: I do think it's gross and wrong and I DO believe that parents are ALMOST entirely to blame, after all it's the parents that provide the moral upbringing of these girls and it's the parents that are responsible for teaching their daughters values and self worth and of course it's the parents who have jobs that bring in the money that pays for the household clothing.
All of that being said, I think that the article glosses over some other very key points that need to be made on this topic. For example, while the huge amount of the blame {for lack of a better term} lays with the parents we have to also take into account the fact that our girls are being inundated by images from marketing companies, movies, television, commercials, ads, music videos, and most swaying - their peers. It's a snowball effect that turns into an ugly cycle: one parents caves and allows their daughter to purchase and wear something that they as adults know is crossing a line but "it's just this once". That girl goes to school and gets tons of attention {the gold standard in the social realm of girlhood} which then causes her friends and the girls that look up to her to go home and beg their parents for the same overly short skirt/suggestive pants/belly shirt/heavy make-up...before you know it this style becomes the "norm" at that school and as parents you're faced with a horrible choice "do I allow my child to become a social pariah or do I allow her to leave my house looking like a 24 year old co-ed?" that's awful. As parents we want what's best for our children and I can see how some would go along with their girl's request thinking of her social well-being {although this is not the choice I personally would make}. What we as consumers buy is the bottom line sole thing that companies care about - their job is to make a profit, plain and simple, and if what we are purchasing is bad for our girls we cant expect a corporation to be the morals police, they are there to make money and if they get that result by bombarding our daughters with images and products that we don't approve of that's to be expected. So you see how it goes around and around. It has to stop somewhere - and although it's rough to be the bad guy or the odd man out, for our girls sake it has to stop with us as parents.
Mr. Granderson also seems to make light of the names that are given to young girls that dress inappropriately. Yes, when a little girl is tarted up there are words that come to mind {slut, whore, prostitute, skank, etc} but saying these things is not helping the situation. In fact, it's making it worse. Every woman is deserving of a basic level of respect no matter her age and no matter how she is dressed. Making light of these words has an unsaid affect, it implies that she's not deserving of respect, that's she's lower, that maybe should anything horrible {rape or assault} happen that she is somehow to blame because of her clothing, which is an abhorrent view. This is not to mention the fact that those words are being used to describe a little girl. For crying out loud!
I personally am hoping to knock this whole issue on it's a** in my house. My husband and I are a team when it comes to making sure that our daughter gets to experience being a little girl not go from toddler to adult without so much as a stop in between. For our household there are the specifics: no pierced ears until she's 11, no make-up until 8th graded, no bikinis until she's a teen, never ever having words printed along the butt of her pants, no shirts {or yikes, panties} with suggestive wording. But there is also the bigger picture not quite as specific things: raising her to believe that her self worth is not based on what she wears, that she can be anything she wants, that girls are just as good at math & science, that reading and being smart are more attractive qualities than red lips and blond highlights, that girls can fix their own cars and build their own forts, that there's more to life than the color pink, that "being a girl" should be a statement of strength and pride. It's a huge responsibility - raising a healthy well adjusted happy daughter. It truly does take a village, so my hope is that this article and subsequent reactions get the ball rolling on this topic. Lets create a generation of strong independent women that had the chance to be fun loving little girls first!
All of that being said, I think that the article glosses over some other very key points that need to be made on this topic. For example, while the huge amount of the blame {for lack of a better term} lays with the parents we have to also take into account the fact that our girls are being inundated by images from marketing companies, movies, television, commercials, ads, music videos, and most swaying - their peers. It's a snowball effect that turns into an ugly cycle: one parents caves and allows their daughter to purchase and wear something that they as adults know is crossing a line but "it's just this once". That girl goes to school and gets tons of attention {the gold standard in the social realm of girlhood} which then causes her friends and the girls that look up to her to go home and beg their parents for the same overly short skirt/suggestive pants/belly shirt/heavy make-up...before you know it this style becomes the "norm" at that school and as parents you're faced with a horrible choice "do I allow my child to become a social pariah or do I allow her to leave my house looking like a 24 year old co-ed?" that's awful. As parents we want what's best for our children and I can see how some would go along with their girl's request thinking of her social well-being {although this is not the choice I personally would make}. What we as consumers buy is the bottom line sole thing that companies care about - their job is to make a profit, plain and simple, and if what we are purchasing is bad for our girls we cant expect a corporation to be the morals police, they are there to make money and if they get that result by bombarding our daughters with images and products that we don't approve of that's to be expected. So you see how it goes around and around. It has to stop somewhere - and although it's rough to be the bad guy or the odd man out, for our girls sake it has to stop with us as parents.
Mr. Granderson also seems to make light of the names that are given to young girls that dress inappropriately. Yes, when a little girl is tarted up there are words that come to mind {slut, whore, prostitute, skank, etc} but saying these things is not helping the situation. In fact, it's making it worse. Every woman is deserving of a basic level of respect no matter her age and no matter how she is dressed. Making light of these words has an unsaid affect, it implies that she's not deserving of respect, that's she's lower, that maybe should anything horrible {rape or assault} happen that she is somehow to blame because of her clothing, which is an abhorrent view. This is not to mention the fact that those words are being used to describe a little girl. For crying out loud!
I personally am hoping to knock this whole issue on it's a** in my house. My husband and I are a team when it comes to making sure that our daughter gets to experience being a little girl not go from toddler to adult without so much as a stop in between. For our household there are the specifics: no pierced ears until she's 11, no make-up until 8th graded, no bikinis until she's a teen, never ever having words printed along the butt of her pants, no shirts {or yikes, panties} with suggestive wording. But there is also the bigger picture not quite as specific things: raising her to believe that her self worth is not based on what she wears, that she can be anything she wants, that girls are just as good at math & science, that reading and being smart are more attractive qualities than red lips and blond highlights, that girls can fix their own cars and build their own forts, that there's more to life than the color pink, that "being a girl" should be a statement of strength and pride. It's a huge responsibility - raising a healthy well adjusted happy daughter. It truly does take a village, so my hope is that this article and subsequent reactions get the ball rolling on this topic. Lets create a generation of strong independent women that had the chance to be fun loving little girls first!
2 comments:
I agree with you 100%! You are absolutely right that is is our responsibility as parents to ensure that our daughters (and sons too as they also play a big role in this) grow up to be well rounded individuals. We have an uphill battle my friend, but rest assured you are not alone.
That is an excellent point! It is so important to include boys in this - I cn't believe I missed that.
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